Are two REALLY better than one?

A friend of mine recently tweeted the question "Is it possible to love two separate people equally?" Although I will delve more deeply into this question, my simple answer is not; it is not possible to love two separate people equally. Whichever answer a person chooses for this question, the most important aspect that needs to be established is how he/she define the word love. If we define it as liking particular features of an individual and thus being attracted to them on some level, then of course you can love two people equally. However, what was just defined was not love but rather liking or infatuation. These emotions are not eternal but rather quite fleeting. A bubbling personality, the most exquisite physique; all of these things are susceptible to change. Not only can the other person change but a person's preferences or proclivities can also change over time. So love is not infatuation, although that is a necessary component. Love without an initial infatuation is arranged marriage; which has its benefits too but I will save that for another post. Love is putting another person's needs, wants, and desires over your own regardless of emotion. Some might say "that isn't glamorous Michael" or "that sounds so boring." I would respond with "You are correct, to a certain extent." Real love is found in every relationship we have. When you first meet anyone you see if you like their personality or if they are cool to hang out with and you may see them more frequently. As time goes on you learn more about them and vice versa and you decide each time you hang out or talk if this person is someone you want to be in a relationship with (any kind of relationship by the way). Then comes the challenging part; when they forget your birthday or tell the world a secret they swore not to tell. You can decide to remove them from your life or to forgive them knowing full well that you don't even remotely like them at the moment but they mean enough in your life that you will keep them around. The same is true and even more so when it comes to romance. Many people who don't see or believe that how I defined love is correct, I would say, with no intention of disrespect, that you are immature and do not fully grasp concepts of commitment and devotion. A lot of my friends have been married recently and while it may seem shocking to myself and the general public they all have seemed to grasp the concept of real love. I am not a proponent and NEVER will be of the idea that love conquers all and as long as we have each other mentality. NO! Get a job, have at least some semblance of a plan before you put a ring on it and start making sweet love. However, I truly believe that all of my friends who have gotten married regardless of their age have understood the deep commitment they are agreeing to in marriage. Everyone complains that divorce rates are sky rocketing and the reason for this increase is because many people enter marriage with an incorrect definition of love. So when the first difficulty arises, the path of least resistance and honestly least reward is to separate. I am sure that many people have said this before him but allegedly Theodore Roosevelt said "nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty." We say this about health, about school and about our careers; why should it be any different in our relationships? Some people try to argue that it is in our nature as members of the animal kingdom to have multiple mates and this monogamy business is stupid. Although I feel like people who make these arguments just want to have sex with as many people as they can it also isnt very strong. There are many animals that don't have monogamous relationships BUT there are a handful that do. For example, swans, wolves, turtle doves, and bald eagles. Love is difficult, painful, joyous, fantastic, miserable and everything in between. Kanye believes "love is cursed by monogamy" but I would say his definition of love is incorrect and perhaps monogamy is cursed by this so called "love." To see more closely all that love entails I implore you to read 1 Corinthians 13 very closely and see if it matches up with how you define love.

Dress to Impress? Who?

Is dressing up to go to church service for impressing other people or to glorify God? Do we dress up so we can make sure we look better than Cynthia (no offense if your name is Cynthia) or do we dress up with the only motivation being "I want to look my best out of reverence for my Lord and King"? Even if the true motivation is to glorify God, the secondary motivation of impressing people seems to be a close second. I guess when I stop and think about it someone could argue that since God is our Lord and King we should be finely dressed as if we were going before a Lord or King like back in the day. However this logic seems to break down with Jesus' acceptance message of saying come to me as you are. I have never experienced this but I always wondered what would happen if a homeless person who smelled terribly, and looked even worse came wandering into a church service to see what was going on. Would he in fact be welcomed by the congregation or even the leader? Honestly I don't know, it may be one of those situations where we hope we would do the right thing but most likely wouldn't in the heat of the moment.
       Another thing is worshiping and attending service in a community setting is prime for comparison among the church goers. So then what is the purpose of community? We are social beings who seek somewhere to belong so that is part of it. As fellow believers we are called, more or less, to keep our brothers and sisters in check. More significant though is having older and wiser members in the community that can be a pillar of strength and advice giving. All though all of these things are positive reasons to be part of a community, at the end of the day our relationship with God is just that; OUR relationship with God. Our community will not read our Bible's for us and they cannot walk our walks of faith for us either. It is our responsibility to do the training and heavy lifting of our faith and when we need motivation or encouragement we have our community and God.
      What is your motivation for dressing well to go to Church? If you don't dress up, why don't you?

Emotions: What the hell are they?

For those of you who don't know me I am an extremely logical person and not necessarily in tune with my emotions like some other people I know. My natural personality along with life circumstances have made me more so logically yet I am fascinated with emotions and how they impact our lives everyday. Like they do not make logical sense. I don't understand how people can make decisions or have opinions purely based on emotions because they are extremely biased and fickle. Don't get me wrong I consider myself a romantic kind of guy and like all the cheesy cornbally things just as much as the next guy BUT i don't take it to the extreme like some people I know. Life is full of many difficult decisions and i just don't see how people can completely make decisions on their emotions. 

Race

A social construction of history and society that has had detrimental effects in both realms. Since I can not speak for the world and their individual opinions I will only speak about my personal interaction with this idea of "race." Being a product of an interracial couple this idea of race has always perplexed me. When I looked in the mirror there was no definitive answer to my question of what color or race am I? I mean was I black, white, both and what were the repercussions of the decision I decided to make? To say the least there were and still are at times questions of what racial group I identify with. I began to realize that this idea of race was really the product of societal and historic events and mentalities. As I grew up I noticed that particular personality traits, or preferences were taken into consideration as the world determined what race to associate you with. I mean personally I know that I am both black and white (whatever that means) but I grew up with an affinity to being black. Even though people will constantly remind me that I was half white on the whole I always associate with my "blackness." When you really think about it this whole idea of race is pretty crazy. After you get past the point of decided who is what race/color then within that race/color there are even more distinctions to be made. Now I know that trying to make it so people don't see others as a color or stereotype is impossible I think we can definitely change our mentality towards race. People are people and they are who they are. The color of their skin does not dictate the music they like, the people they enjoy spending time with, or anything else. People have beliefs and ideologies that are not rooted in skin pigmentation but in the minds that we all as humans possess and hopefully utilize. I understand that our history and society has made race a HUGE issue but we still have the ability to affect the present and future perception and understanding of this social constructed concept. 

How are you doing?

Everyone in the world has been asked this question at one time or another. The conversation usually goes as follows:
John: Hey Jane how are you doing today?
Jane: Good John. How are you doing?
John: Good thanks.
And that is the entire conversation that revolves around asking another human being "how are you doing?" What puzzles me about this interaction and even this question is that nine times out of ten people don't answer truthfully. The probability that they will answer truthfully to an acquaintance is much lower than if that person was a close friend but even then the response may still be the same. Some people in this world will lie about how they are doing because they have an expectation that that particular friend should know already what is going on in their lives. On the flip side the person asking the question could just be following a social norm of asking how someone is when you see them even if you really could care less. I have two challenges for you as you finish reading this post. First, only ask this question if you genuinely care about that person and the response they may give. Second, if you are asked this question answer truthfully. I am not saying you have to pour your heart out to a random person who may ask, use your discretion. When are you are dealing with your close friends though just be honest with them, who else can you be honest with if not with them?

Deadmau5 "Ghosts 'n' Stuff"

Choices

 I was just reading Luke 15 where Jesus gives the parable of the lost son or prodigal son as it is usually called. Half way through the parable I had a minor revelation. Everything in life comes down to choices. Everything that makes you who you are, the legacy you build, and where you will spend eternity is the culmination of all the choices you have ever made in your entire life. From simple things such as eating that slice of cake to major things like choosing a wife; each choice is another step down a certain path. In regards to this parable the lost son made two very distinct and life altering choices. The first was to ask for his inheritance early and squander it on a life of "luxury." This life of "luxury" was very short lived and resulted in the son eating with the pigs. The second choice was just as important as the first but had a different result. He decided to return to his father's house and beg for forgiveness. Even though he knew the potential repercussions of his actions he MADE the choice any way. As you may or may not know the result was a welcome party like non other. This idea of the severe gravity of the choices we make every second can be extremely stressful to think about. There may always be fear in the back of your mind that you made the wrong decision. Making wrong decisions is inevitable in this life but it is what you learn and how you choose to live after that is what is important. I can understand when people, especially in movies, saw the reason they killed some one for example was because they had no choice. You ALWAYS have a choice it is whether or not you are willing to live with the consequences of that choice is what makes you who you are. People also often think that once they make one bad decision life is over or they have permanently ruined something in their lives. Some choices do have permanent consequences but there is always tomorrow; another day to make the right choices. So use the divine gift of choice everyday because it is one of your greatest strengths.