Are two REALLY better than one?

A friend of mine recently tweeted the question "Is it possible to love two separate people equally?" Although I will delve more deeply into this question, my simple answer is not; it is not possible to love two separate people equally. Whichever answer a person chooses for this question, the most important aspect that needs to be established is how he/she define the word love. If we define it as liking particular features of an individual and thus being attracted to them on some level, then of course you can love two people equally. However, what was just defined was not love but rather liking or infatuation. These emotions are not eternal but rather quite fleeting. A bubbling personality, the most exquisite physique; all of these things are susceptible to change. Not only can the other person change but a person's preferences or proclivities can also change over time. So love is not infatuation, although that is a necessary component. Love without an initial infatuation is arranged marriage; which has its benefits too but I will save that for another post. Love is putting another person's needs, wants, and desires over your own regardless of emotion. Some might say "that isn't glamorous Michael" or "that sounds so boring." I would respond with "You are correct, to a certain extent." Real love is found in every relationship we have. When you first meet anyone you see if you like their personality or if they are cool to hang out with and you may see them more frequently. As time goes on you learn more about them and vice versa and you decide each time you hang out or talk if this person is someone you want to be in a relationship with (any kind of relationship by the way). Then comes the challenging part; when they forget your birthday or tell the world a secret they swore not to tell. You can decide to remove them from your life or to forgive them knowing full well that you don't even remotely like them at the moment but they mean enough in your life that you will keep them around. The same is true and even more so when it comes to romance. Many people who don't see or believe that how I defined love is correct, I would say, with no intention of disrespect, that you are immature and do not fully grasp concepts of commitment and devotion. A lot of my friends have been married recently and while it may seem shocking to myself and the general public they all have seemed to grasp the concept of real love. I am not a proponent and NEVER will be of the idea that love conquers all and as long as we have each other mentality. NO! Get a job, have at least some semblance of a plan before you put a ring on it and start making sweet love. However, I truly believe that all of my friends who have gotten married regardless of their age have understood the deep commitment they are agreeing to in marriage. Everyone complains that divorce rates are sky rocketing and the reason for this increase is because many people enter marriage with an incorrect definition of love. So when the first difficulty arises, the path of least resistance and honestly least reward is to separate. I am sure that many people have said this before him but allegedly Theodore Roosevelt said "nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty." We say this about health, about school and about our careers; why should it be any different in our relationships? Some people try to argue that it is in our nature as members of the animal kingdom to have multiple mates and this monogamy business is stupid. Although I feel like people who make these arguments just want to have sex with as many people as they can it also isnt very strong. There are many animals that don't have monogamous relationships BUT there are a handful that do. For example, swans, wolves, turtle doves, and bald eagles. Love is difficult, painful, joyous, fantastic, miserable and everything in between. Kanye believes "love is cursed by monogamy" but I would say his definition of love is incorrect and perhaps monogamy is cursed by this so called "love." To see more closely all that love entails I implore you to read 1 Corinthians 13 very closely and see if it matches up with how you define love.

Dress to Impress? Who?

Is dressing up to go to church service for impressing other people or to glorify God? Do we dress up so we can make sure we look better than Cynthia (no offense if your name is Cynthia) or do we dress up with the only motivation being "I want to look my best out of reverence for my Lord and King"? Even if the true motivation is to glorify God, the secondary motivation of impressing people seems to be a close second. I guess when I stop and think about it someone could argue that since God is our Lord and King we should be finely dressed as if we were going before a Lord or King like back in the day. However this logic seems to break down with Jesus' acceptance message of saying come to me as you are. I have never experienced this but I always wondered what would happen if a homeless person who smelled terribly, and looked even worse came wandering into a church service to see what was going on. Would he in fact be welcomed by the congregation or even the leader? Honestly I don't know, it may be one of those situations where we hope we would do the right thing but most likely wouldn't in the heat of the moment.
       Another thing is worshiping and attending service in a community setting is prime for comparison among the church goers. So then what is the purpose of community? We are social beings who seek somewhere to belong so that is part of it. As fellow believers we are called, more or less, to keep our brothers and sisters in check. More significant though is having older and wiser members in the community that can be a pillar of strength and advice giving. All though all of these things are positive reasons to be part of a community, at the end of the day our relationship with God is just that; OUR relationship with God. Our community will not read our Bible's for us and they cannot walk our walks of faith for us either. It is our responsibility to do the training and heavy lifting of our faith and when we need motivation or encouragement we have our community and God.
      What is your motivation for dressing well to go to Church? If you don't dress up, why don't you?